Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes

“I don’t have time.”

“I’m so busy with the kids’ activities.”

“I’m too tired.”

“I’ll do it tomorrow.”

How many times have we said those excuses to ourselves?  I know I’ve said all of those phrases way more times than I can count.  And truth be told, each time I said those things, I felt like I was letting myself down because, like clockwork, I never did get around to doing whatever it was that I was pushing off.

Do you know how that made me feel?  Awful!  It totally messed with my mind.  Why was it that suddenly I didn’t have the energy I used to?  Why couldn’t I accomplish tasks that used to take me no time to do?  That was probably the starting point for the decline of my self-esteem.

Unfortunately, a drop in self-esteem tends to have a snowball effect on a variety of other areas in a person’s life.  When things in life aren’t going your way, it affects your level of happiness, which in turn plays a role in your self-confidence and how you present yourself to the world and can even lead to depression, among other things.

So ask yourself this: right now, at this very moment - are you happy??  If the answer is no, can you pinpoint the exact reason why?  Or are there a variety of reasons that are contributing to your discontent?  

Now let’s take this a step further.  If you let things continue as status quo, in a few more weeks or months down the road, how will what you're doing today contribute to your overall happiness?  If you're not happy now, and no changes are made, how can you expect to be happy in the future??  The answer is simple – you CAN’T.

If you aren't feeling well physically or emotionally or if you aren’t proud of yourself, it's hard to keep a positive mindset on life - trust me, I've been there. All those little aches in your joints, the exhaustion you feel the moment you step through the door to your home after a long, stressful day at work, the little voice in your head that keeps telling you things should…could be different – it all adds up and takes an unsuspecting toll on you. 

This is probably the thing I struggled with the most when I finally made the decision to regain my health.  Once I became a wife and mom, my priorities shifted, focusing entirely on my family rather than me.  I put my family first and I always came last – it didn’t matter what it was; the ones I love ALWAYS came first.

But there was a small little detail that I was missing while I was doing this… aka, while I slowly let myself go over the months and eventually years.  By putting everyone else first, I wasn’t taking care of my own needs, and as a result my health, both physically and emotionally, deteriorated.  Sure it was a slow decline that I never noticed on a day-to-day basis.  But as I look back over the years, I’m always amazed at how far I let everything slide before I finally realized what was happening to me. 

In the end, my lack of attention to my own needs actually had the opposite effect on me than what I had intended.  Instead of being a ‘supermom’ in reality my actions made me a much less effective mother and wife.  You probably read that and thought: "What’s she smoking?  She’s got it all backwards."

For the longest time, I would have agreed with you too.  Until I realized that if I wasn’t being the best ME that I could, then how could I expect to be able to take the best care possible of my family and loved ones?

To be completely honest – I wasn’t living up to my potential.  That was a really difficult concept to grasp.  “I let me down” – you know how hard that is to admit to yourself?  Trust me, it’s not easy.  My self-esteem pretty much hit rock bottom before I finally decided that I had to fix things.

You know what did it?  I’m going to be completely and most assuredly embarrassingly honest here so those of you out there who can relate so far know that you are not alone in your struggles….

Facebook did it… A seemingly innocuous picture my friend/neighbor had posted on his page from the New Years’ party he and his wife had hosted.  He had posted something one day and I was bored… and once again tired… and entirely WAY too willing to put off chores that I definitely should have been doing while my children napped. 

So what did my tired self do?  After looking at his current post I wasted time scrolling through other pictures he’d posted and that’s when I saw the damnable evidence that I was a freaking blimp!  Sure, I was pregnant at the time (due in less than two months) and had been on medication that made me balloon to the point that I put on well over 50 pounds during that pregnancy.  But still, over a year later I wasn’t much lighter than I was in that picture – and I was no longer pregnant.  I had NO EXCUSES.

So now what?  Honesty.  It’s that simple.  Be completely honest with yourself.  Where did you go wrong during the day?  Are there better ways to make use of your time?  What are you REALLY putting into that mouth of yours?  Is it really necessary to watch TV all night long?  You can squeeze in a half hour to exercise, right?  But you’re too busy… too tired…

It’s NOT easy.  I know – trust me, I’ve been there.  But you’ve got to find the courage to make the decision to change.  You only get one body… one life – make the most of it while you’ve got the chance.  Be healthy enough to fulfill all those dreams and aspirations you have.  You can do it – you just gotta believe in yourself.

I’ve read that 21 days is all it takes to form new habits.  The best part is they don't have to be huge, life altering changes. It could be as simple as waking up in the morning and drinking a glass of warm lemon water to help get your metabolism moving. Or maybe wake up and do some stretching... Maybe purposely park at the far end of the parking lot to force yourself to take a few extra steps each day.  

Whatever you decide to do first is great.  But you've got to start!  Try making one positive change and after that change has become a habit, add in another change that you wish to make.  

It's the little things that add up after a while - those are the things that will make or break you. Choosing positive habits to incorporate into your life will take you so much farther than you could have ever imagined.  It may not be easy; there may be times when you struggle, but remember this: you’re not alone.  There are others who will support you along your journey (myself included).

Make the decision to be the best version of you – you’re so worth it!