What are the Chances?

In a world filled with technology and constant movement, it’s easy to miss the small miracles that happen every day.  How often do you see people walking around with their phone attached to their hand – their eyes glued to that tiny screen?  With an overwhelming inundation of technology it’s no wonder we often miss what’s right in front of us.  Whether you want to admit it or not, life is a series of interlinked miracles – both big and small – that we take for granted because we aren't paying attention.

God is included in that.  It’s amazing how He works if you take the time to still you mind and watch for the signs.  There is always inherent beauty in His work and once you learn to find it, you’ll wonder how you never noticed it before. 

For me, 2014 was a year of personal growth – filled with many transitions, uncertainties and new beginnings.  And while January has been mainly positive so far, there are still some things left to figure out in this coming year.  On top of all that, I have a habit of overthinking things… not a good habit, but one that’s on my ‘To Fix’ list. 

The other day I was driving home from the grocery store with a lot of my mind.  So needless to say while I was driving I couldn't stop myself from stewing over a particular area of my life that I still have to work through.  It’s something that’s very important to me and I've been struggling with it for a very long time now.  

As I often do, I had a very rapid monologue going to God as I was driving.  Sometimes I feel bad for how much I tend to dump on Him at once.  But when life gets a bit overwhelming for me, He never falters.  He takes everything I throw at Him in stride – and I always, always, ALWAYS feel a thousand times better after these sessions.

However that day, even I got tired of my incessant chattering so I stopped my inner dialogue and just let my mind still as I drove home on autopilot.  So what happened next? 

A different song came on the radio – and not just any song.  This was the very same song that God used to speak to me a few months ago when my hope in this particular circumstance was on the verge of dying.  At that point in time I was ready to give up.  I felt it was too difficult; that I didn’t have the strength necessary to persevere anymore.  I wanted to walk away and find a different path; to give up and admit defeat.  For the first time in my life I wanted to quit despite the fact it is something I am wholeheartedly invested in.

Given the situation, the lyrics in this song are powerful and FOUR  times previously this was the very next song I heard after saying something along the lines of, “God, I don’t know that I can do this; I don’t think I have the strength to continue down this particular path anymore.”  

Even more astounding?  It was ALWAYS the second line of the chorus that I heard next – that fact alone got my attention, as though God had just slapped some sense into me saying, “Listen here you silly girl – stay the course!  You got this!”

The first time I heard the song it was like tunnel vision for my ears.  I had just started my car, still mulling over the things I had been asking God about.  I had never even heard the song before, but it was the ONLY thing I could hear despite my son trying to get my attention from the back seat.  

The second time I heard the song, I immediately realized God was using it to communicate to me.  I mean, really?  How coincidental could it be that the EXACT same line started playing two times in a row?  But still my hope didn’t last long and I couldn’t stop the despair that came flooding back after a week.  

So the third time I doubted, the song produced immediate tears on my end.  How could I have been so stupid as to doubt the guidance God was clearly giving me?  Despite the tears, I inherently understood that this is the path God set before me and even though this wasn’t going to be easy, God would be with me the entire way.  I’d be ok; He’d lend me His strength when mine faltered.  

Still, after some time and no change in the circumstances, I began to question whether I had formed the right conclusions.  Again, the next thing I heard was the second line of the chorus to this song.  Even in His silence He still has my back.

The song is not actually about strength per se – it’s about love.  But one must remember, love IS strength – if you have the courage to let yourself be vulnerable enough to both give and receive love.  God was reminding me that love is ALWAYS the answer.  Turning to negative emotions would only yield negative results.  If I wanted the best outcome possible, I have to keep my thoughts light and positive, and my heart filled with love.   I have to do good, be good, and most importantly, believe that good things will happen despite the fact that I can’t for the life of me see HOW my desired result will come to pass. 

I’m always amazed at how patient God is with me despite how stubborn and thick headed I often am.  Through the months I’ve also come to realize that this struggle is a test of my patience as well.  We all know I can be the proverbial 'hot-headed Italian' with a ‘my way or the high way’ attitude at times.  I’ve mellowed quite a bit since my youth, but I am still a work in progress and in a roundabout way, this situation is helping me to grow in that area as well.

So was it a coincidence that that particular song happened to play at that exact moment as I was driving home?  Maybe to some it is, but not to me.  I’ve experienced this kind of thing so many times over the years that I don’t believe anything happens by mere chance.  

While I wasn't doubting my path anymore, I was questioning how to get from where I am now to the end result I want.  Essentially, I’m at Point A and want to get to Point C… but where the heck do I find Point B?!

God didn’t give me an answer, but as I listened to the lyrics I felt a renewed sense of hope, as though nothing was going to stop me from achieving success.  It didn’t matter that I don’t have all the details – I’ll get there when the time is right.  That’s the impression I got in that moment.

I continued driving, feeling as though a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and as I neared my home, I suddenly had the urge to take a longer route despite having a trunk full of approximately 90% refrigerated groceries.  I didn’t question it; I just went with the flow.  I learned years ago never to question that little voice in my head – question your ego certainly, but NEVER question your intuition.  Your intuition is your direct link to God.  He was gracious enough to give it to us and when you learn to use yours, you’ll discover it’s never wrong.

So I took the scenic route and when I got to the next turn, a bus came up the hill from the opposite direction.  I couldn’t stop that feeling of irritation as I watched it come closer, knowing I was going to be stuck behind it.  There are a lot of kids that live between where I was turning and where my home is.  I was less than a mile from home yet I was guaranteed to have to sit behind at least two, maybe three, stops as tons of children got off.

My irritation however was stopped in its tracks as the bus turned and I saw the number on its side.  I couldn’t breathe and suddenly the first bus stop couldn’t come soon enough.  Rather than songs, lately I’ve been seeing series of specific numbers over and over, and the bus number was one of them but I couldn’t remember what it meant off the top of my head.  So as I sat waiting for the kids to get off at the first stop I wrenched my phone out of the cup holder and searched for the meaning of that number.

Guess what?  That number was God’s way of telling me to “keep a positive and optimistic attitude as my thoughts and prayers are being manifested into my life”.  Now imagine if I hadn’t listened to that little voice in my head and gone straight home.  Sure, I’d have heard that song… but do you know how much easier it is to continuously keep your hope up, to keep a positive mindset, when you see an extra sign like that?

I gotta admit – I’m feeling pretty damn good right about now.  Are the things I was praying about going to happen overnight?  No, they’ll happen in GOD’S time, whenever that may be.  But how can you NOT keep the faith when you clearly know God’s got your back?

Still think it’s just dumb luck; a mere coincidence?  Then how about this?  I’ve been listening to Pandora and as I’m nearing the end of writing this, “Wake Me Up” by Aloe Blacc began playing.  Here’s a snippet of the lyrics:

“I’ve been around the world
And I can’t stop hearing this song
I’ve been around the world
And I can’t stop hearing this song
And I love it

Feeling my way through the darkness
Guided by a beating heart
I can't tell where the journey will end
But I know where to start

….

So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn't know I was lost

Life’s not waiting for a storm
It’s about dancing in the rain
And if it rains lemons
Learn how to make lemonade
Moral of a story
No problems, just solutions”

I don’t know about you, but I am a believer in God and the miracles He produces on a daily basis.  I may not know how my story will end, but I’ll keep my faith the entire time because I know I’ll never walk alone.

Edit:

I finished what I wrote above and left for my accounting job knowing that I’d proof read this one more time before I posted.  Here’s yet another example: 

I got into my car – my mileage read 10,519.  Coincidentally my birthday happens to be 5/19.  At work I ran some numbers, and one of the totals came out to 1,911. When I came home, the car in the clock read 5:19.

For some reason this got me further thinking… On Wednesday I woke up feeling pretty down.  Why?  I have no clue; I had no reason to feel that way.  All I knew was that at that moment I felt like there was no hope.  And I said, “God, what’s going on?  Am I about to totally screw things up or what?”  For some reason I kept feeling like I really messed something up and was depressed about it.

So I got my coffee and checked my email.  I got a confirmation about a transaction I made to one of my retirement accounts went through.  Being an accountant, my first thought was to check to make sure everything looked right.  So I pulled up my account and as I’m scanning through, one of the accounts jumped out at me.  The first thing my eyes latched on to was part of the balance – 222.  Then I read the account name – “Balanced” was part of the fund name.

Yup, thank you God – this was not the first time I've seen that number recently.  The gist of it means that when this number repeats you’re supposed to take a balanced, harmonious and peaceful stance in life, knowing that everything will turn out for the best in the long term.

Instant mood lift!   And for the record, ALL day I saw a series of 1’s and 2’s – still do, but not nearly as frequently as I did that day. 

I just gave you all some food for thought, didn't I?